Share

Last October, Freddy “Tavarish” Hernandez matched up the candidates with the cars they were most like.  It was reported on Jalopnik.

To help car enthusiasts make up their minds, we thought now is time to revisit these insights!

We like to think of it as if there were a special Election Year release of Cars 3.  In the Pixar movies, celebrity personalities and voices are transmogrified into the animated cars. So the original Cars movie starred Owen Wilson, Paul Newman, Larry the Cable Guy, Cheech Marin, George Carlin, and Michael Keaton as the bad guy.

Last October, when Freddy speculated on the candidate/cars question, the GOP still had 9 candidates on the main stage including Trump, Ben Carson, Rubio, Cruz and Bush.  The Dems of course had Hillary and Bernie.

Here was how Tavarish Hernandez foresaw the cars as candidates… [quotes are from Jalopnik article :: photos credited where known]

Donald Trump – 2013 SRT Viper

2013 Viper SRT like Donald Trump

“Easily one of the most polarizing cars ever made. It has a lot of power and support behind its name (from previous generations) but its overwhelming engine and old-school transmission can make it extremely abrasive and hard to handle when stressed. It’s one of the worst cars to get if you’re just learning how to drive.

“It can be extremely rewarding for those who can afford its high price tag and it’s much more refined than you might think. It’s garish and unapologetic and can make its owner look a bit silly, especially if it’s passed by either the Passat or Mercedes Benz on the highway in the very likely event that it spins its driver off the road into a ditch. It represents the American dream and it’s not without nearly constant controversy. It’s not very popular in Mexico, but it is oddly admired by Americans that can’t accept the fact that they’ll probably never own one.”

For character voice: if Donald is not available, we suggest Jack Nicholson, who would channel Colonel Nathan R. Jessup from *A Few Good Men” – maybe with a soupçon of Joker in Batman.  Too bad, Tony Soprano actor [James Gandolfini] is dead.  Denis Leary [who is a natural when it comes to rants] wouldn’t be bad.

Bernie Sanders – 1986 Mercedes-Benz 300D

Bernie Sanders as Mercedes Benz

(Photo by RL GNZLZ on Flickr)

“Although this car has a diesel engine … it’s never been in any major scandals concerning its claims. It also doesn’t have much speed and power because it lacks a fancypants turbocharger, but it makes up for it by being extremely appealing to people that need transportation but can’t afford anything else.

“It runs off of discarded french fry grease, which is harder to come by than you might think. It’s rough around the edges with a few dents and some rusty panels, but wouldn’t have an issue driving across the country. Even though college students mostly drive newer cars like the Passat, on the internet they agree that this would be a much more interesting car to drive.”

For character voice, if Bernie says no, it has to be Larry David.  Although don’t rule out the actor from Seinfeld who played Frank Costanza.

Hillary Clinton – 2015 Volkswagen Passat TDI

Hillary Clinton as a Volkswagen Passat

“It’s the car you get when cars aren’t really your thing. It’s good enough, and the fact that it’s a diesel that gets great mileage only helps. It’s billed as caring for the environment and “the car of the people” but its association with world banks and oil companies is worrisome.

“Sure, this car is facing a huge scandal that ended up with millions of Americans being lied to and the car may in fact be recalled in messy legal proceedings, but for now it’s what you know and it’ll be a pain in the ass to switch to anything else this far down the line.”

If Hillary won’t do her voice, we recommend either Kate McKinnon or Amy Poehler from SNL.  You can judge for yourself by tuning into Hillary Clinton Car Character.

What cars do you think should play the stars in the *Campaign 2016* version of Pixar Cars 3*?  Please tell us on our Facebook page.

Share