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We weren’t there in Fremont, California when Tesla debuted it’s Tesla Model X last night. Two things happened. The Family Car became ultra cool. Other car companies looked lame.

We weren’t there but we have the facts (who even knows where Fremont is?)

The banging on the drums within the jungle of automotive critics indicates joy and victory! Elon Musk has delivered an SUV that is everything.  Family members will fight over who gets to drive the family car.

FALCON DOORS: magical and unlike the Mercedes gull-wing, the doors don’t invade space of nearby vehicles. The Tesla wings are double-hinged and open with as little as 12 inches on either side. Each door is fitted with an array of ultrasonic sensors to guide how the door unfolds.

These doors let you park in spaces so tight you wouldn’t normally be able to squeeze your doors open. Welcome to LA!

These are the back doors of the Tesla X. Their glide above the car makes it exceptionally easy to ingress and egress. No need to contort yourself to position kids or Costco bounty into that rear seating.

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INVISIBLE BUTLER: Walk toward the car and its “ultrasonic detection” will assess your trajectory and open the door for you just when you want to enter. Sit down, and the door will close. Science!

PANORAMIC WINDSHIELD: It’s got the largest windshield of any production car, hurtling up and over the front seats to give a gee-whiz view.  Looking through the glass is like sitting in a helicopter bubble.  Leg room is ample in the back, and the view through the panoramic windshield from the center-rear seat is like watching real life in IMAX.

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NO FAKE GRILL: Tesla got beyond the stupid fake grille that other car designers are dragging around like some vestigial ornamentation. Even gas-engine cars don’t need the kind of baroque grilles found on almost all of the hippest new models.

SAFETY TO STAKE YOUR LIFE ON: Elon Musk expects the Model X to get “a five-star crash rating in every category.” Tesla reps go so far as to envision your running the Model X off the proverbial cliff.

Having been told “It might roll a few times but it’ll land on its feet,” Jalopnik has this theory … “An extremely low center of gravity (thanks to the battery-skateboard the whole car’s plopped on) makes rolling the Model X extremely difficult, but if it is turtled, the gull-style “falcon doors” have enough hinges in them that Tesla thinks the car will still be escapable.”

HEPA AND BIO-WEAPON PROTECTION: occupants are protected from air-borne bacterial and viral harm with a  HEPA (High-Efficiency Particulate Arrestance) cabin air filter – the only one in any car -according to Musk.  Tesla actually created a ‘bioweapon defense mode” within the HVAC system.

FASTER THAN CRAP!  The Tesla Model X features two motors. Front one is rated to 259 horsepower, the rear is 503. Together they produce a neck-snapping  713 lb-ft of torque which gets you 0-60 time in a shade over 3 seconds – check that against the best from Italy, Germany or GB – and an 11.7-second quarter mile.  But you gotta be in “Ludicrous” mode.  Are you going to spend $140K and never use the “Ludicrous” mode? [option]

VOLUME GOES TO 11: Enough said.  Sound system goes to 11.  Seventeen speakers, 550 watts.  Loud even when you’re 15 feet away from the car.

HOW FAR BEFORE LIGHTS GO OUT: 257-mile max range.

Here is a video by Mashable.

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